Geek nursery rhymes

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Scintillate, Scintillate

Scintillate, scintillate, aster menific;
Fain do I fathom thy nature specific.
Loftily poised in the ether capacious;
Strongly resembling a gem carbonaceous.

--Willard Espy (Or Anonymous, I can't remember which)

On being and nothingness

The other day upon the stair
I met a man that wasn't there.
He wasn't there again today.
Gee, I wish he'd go away!

--Ogden Nash

The other day upon the stair
I met a man who wasn't there.
He wasn't there again today.
He must be from the NSA.
--Mad Magazine.

From A Space Child's Mother Goose

Flappity, Floppity, Flip,
A Mouse on a Moebius strip.
The strip revolved,
The mouse disolved,
In a chrono-dimensional skip.

Hickory dickory dock,
Three mice ran up the clock.
The clock struck one,
and the other two escaped with minor injuries.

Hey diddle diddle,
The cat and the fiddle.
The cow jumped over the moon.
The little dog laughed to see such sight,
And the cow burned up upon reentry.

Mary, Mary, complex and scary,
How does your spectrum glow?
With sodium-glare, in the ionisphere,
and satellites all in a row!\"

All things dull and gargully

This is from Monty Python's Contractual Obligation Album and is sung to the tune of All Creatures Great and Small.

All things dull and gargully,
All creatures short and squat,
All things rude and nasty,
The Lord God made the lot.

Each little snake that's poisonous,
Each little wasp that stings,
He made their brutish venom,
He made their 'orrid wings.

All things sick and cancerous,
All evil great and small,
All things foul and dangerous,
The Lord God made them all.

Each nasty little hornet,
Each beastly little squid,
Who made the slimy urchin?
Who made the sharks? He did!

All things scabbed and ulcerous,
All pox burns great and small,
Putrid, foul, and gangrenous,
The Lord God made them all.


Here's an easy game to play.
Here's an easy thing to say:
If a packet hits a pocket on a socket on a port,
And the bus is interrupted as a very last resort,
And the address of the memory makes your floppy disk abort,
Then the socket packet pocket has an error to report!
If your cursor finds a menu item followed by a dash,
And the double-clicking icon puts your window in the trash,
And your data is corrupted 'cause the index doesn't hash,
Then your situation's hopeless, and your system's gonna crash!
You can't say this?
What a shame sir!
We'll find you
Another game sir.
If the label on the cable on the table at your house,
Says the network is connected to the button on your mouse,
But your packets want to tunnel on another protocol,
That's repeatedly rejected by the printer down the hall,
And your screen is all distorted by the side effects of gauss,
So your icons in the window are as wavy as a souse,
Then you may as well reboot and go out with a bang,
'Cause as sure as I'm a poet, the sucker's gonna hang!
When the copy of your floppy's getting sloppy on the disk,
And the microcode instructions cause unnecessary risc,
Then you have to flash your memory and you'll want to RAM your ROM.
Quickly turn off the computer and be sure to tell your mom!